Nobody's Perfect! Teaching Emotional Intelligence using Children's Literature

   

Are you familiar with the children's semi-autobiographical book by David Shannon featuring his seven-year-old self, David? If not, it's worth a trip to the library! Every teacher at some point in his/her career has taught a David. I will not judge you if you need to take a moment and inhale deeply then count to ten as you exhale slowly counting backward: 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1.

I confess that I've had my share of Davids (and Danielle's) through the years, both at the elementary and secondary levels. Challenging behaviors may manifest in children of ALL genders, ethnicities, ages, shapes, sizes, rich or poor. 

Sidebar: If you are a reading interventionist on your campus, you may have had the same David or Danielle for multiple years! It was like Ground Hog Day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY...

for years

        and years

             and years. 

Or so it may have seemed.

So how do you deal with challenging students? 

Let's begin with what doesn't work.

Being named "Super Star of the Week" lasted, well, one week. Your David or Danielle may seem to enjoy detention. They may have learned to manipulate the detention teacher by emotionally wearing him/her out by endless arguing. A seasoned David or Dannielle may have mastered the "bait and switch" trick and miraculously turned into a well-mannered, sweet dispositioned student, making you look foolish.

So what is emotional intelligence? 

Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and helping others do the same.

The good news is that emotional intelligence lessons can be embedded into your ELA/Reading curriculum. You can teach the curriculum, address mandated Common Core standards, and teach
emotional intelligence. It can be done.

Here are three suggestions that I believe will start you off on the road.

1. Emotional intelligence begins with knowing the student.

Students need and deserve to know that their teachers are invested and deeply care about who they are beyond school. Periodically, give students a creative space to invite you into their lives. A writing prompt for the state assessment is NOT a creative space. It is a stressful space that rewards performance over authenticity. 

One suggestion is to create "I Wish My Teacher Knew" forms for students to fill out and give to you. Kyle Schwartz (Twitter: @kylemschwartz) was the genius behind this project. What this does is give you insight into her students. 

If your David or Danielle chooses not to open up, a positive home visit with another member of your team may give you insight into their behavior.

*Don't be surprised to discover that a student who is overly compliant, quiet, and does everything perfectly, may have more challenges that anyone could imagine. Unlike your David or Danielle, this student internalizes rather than acts out.

2. Emotional intelligence can be taught through children's illustrated books.

Look for books to add to your classroom library to teach the names of emotions and how they might look to different people. To prepare for a presentation last fall, I found over fifty books in my public library that taught emotion words! Look for feelings beyond happy, sad, angry, etc.  The Bored Barnicle and The Cranky Ballerina are great choices. 

Also, select books that mirror emotions associated with a feeling of pleasure like Irene's Wish.  During a read-aloud ask students what it means to be "wishful?" Ask, "What is something you've wish would happen?" 

Reading children's picture books like Bear Feels Sick supports building a classroom community and
builds empathy. Everyone who has ever lived has been sick at one time or another. Choosing books with universal themes can help students in recognizing appropriate ways to respond to others who are feeling poorly or having a bad day. Comprehension questions for Bear Feels Sick might be:

• What are some things Bear's friends do to make him feel better?
• Is there a time you have felt sick? What made you feel better?
• What are some things you could do to help a friend feel better?

Yes! Students can (and should) respond in their writer's notebook. This is a wonderful way to teach writing using questions that help students create text-to-self connections. 

IF your David or Danielle pitches a fit and refuses to write...don't escalate by making demands. 

Scaffold by using Language Experience Approach (LEA). Tell your student you will transcribe for them or let them record their answer on a recorder. This is NOT the time to say "This isn't an accommodation on their paperwork so I won't do it." Scaffolding is how we get students to work independently.

3. Emotional Intelligence creates self-awareness associated with actions.

Students like David and Danielle know more about actions and consequences than you can imagine! If I had a dime for every time I've heard, "(the student) needs to understand that there are consequences for their behavior." You are 100% correct. But if he/she continues to act out, the system
is broken for that student.

Books are a way for children (adolescents and adults) to vicariously learn through characters in books they enjoy reading. For example, a lesson teaches there are two sides of a story can be taught and illustrated through the characters in The True Story of the Big Bad Wolf (by A. Wolf). 

The book, The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywalt gives children the opportunity to experience what it is like to harness one's emotions and apply to problem-solving. Create a classroom kindness mission statement and have each student identify with a color. (It's okay if half of the class chooses a shade of blue!) 

It is especially important for your David or Danielle to see and understand they are a part of the classroom community. DO NOT remove their crayon as a "consequence." This is cruel even for a student who is on your last nerve. 

Explicitly teach social skills such as "Rules for Cooperative Solving." In small groups, give students opportunities to practice communicating, learning to listen, to speak up, ask questions. For your David or Danielle, choose a peer in advance to be their partner if working in a group is not working. It is imperative that ALL students feel a part of the classroom community.

In my teaching experience, I had students on the autism spectrum who just simply couldn't handle the noise and lack of structure that may come from cooperative solving. Our Davids and Danielles who are on the spectrum need our empathy to find accommodating ways to ensure they know they are valuable members of the classroom community. 

One year, I had a student insist on coloring using "Pyramid Orange" and of course, there were no crayons or color pencils to create the EXACT shade of the pyramids. And so we accommodated. We

worked with the art teacher until we found the closest shade available. 

Community and belonging are more important than the philosophy, "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

Co-presenting at TWU Spicola Reading Forum 

Teaching emotional intelligence will require commitment, working with your team during lesson
planning, and getting buy-in from your literacy coach and administration. You will need
teacher autonomy to make on-the-spot decisions and flexibility with the curriculum. 

Remember: Nobody's perfect. Not you. Not your favorite student. No one. Your David or Danielle are no different. 

Sometimes the best thing you can do is breathe! 

   

Confession Reflection:

• Why is it important for teachers to know their students beyond school? How does this build empathy?
• Why does emotional intelligence need to be explicitly taught to challenging students? 
• Name and describe accommodations to engage and motivate challenging students?  (augmented reality, choice boards, etc)
• What are some ways illustrated children's books can teach emotional intelligence? How can you find these resources?
• What are the dangers of giving short-term fixes like giving out candy, or pretending to call a parent to get the desired behavior? How does this damage children in the long-term?



Co-presenters, Brittany Mulkey (LSSP) & Tamra Dollar (K-12 Reading Specialist)